Childhood Memories

Today a very dear colleague of mine was admitted to the hospital after he collapsed at the library due to high blood pressure. I was talking to my boss about it and I said this must be due to stress and much to my surprise and out of nowhere, my boss said, you better be careful as you may end up just like him. He said you worry too much and you stress over the smallest thing and you need to learn to relax. If not….

Geez boss. Thank you for that!!! And I wonder who the main contributor of my stress is. Ding ding ding. Yup, you guess right. He is none other than my boss who calls me at odd hours or even during that one day that I am on leave after months of backbreaking work to ask me weird questions or to ask me to drop by at the office. Don’t get me wrong, I have the best boss in the whole wide world. Really. He is patient and understanding.

I guess my boss has a point. I am a “stresser”. Yeah, I know there is no such word. Who cares? What I am trying to say is, I stress out over everything. Seriously? Seriously! When guests come and I don’t have ice. I stress out. When I don’t have enough sleep, I stress out. When a friend does not talk to me or ignores me, I stress out. It does not take much to stress me out. Today I was particularly stress out as I have to decide whether to take a very important English test or go to Bali and P.A.R.T.A.Y with ma frenzz… I started calling everybody and freaking out like the world is coming to an end. Then I stressed out on whether I can pass the test. (I passed my French test for God’s sake!!! And I am worried about my English test!!!, See I told you so)

Anyway, all the stress that I have been feeling lately somehow made me miss my childhood. I know that was way way back during Jurassic time but I can still vividly recall the carefree days where I can “get married” and play house with a boy without having to stress out about wedding preparations or where I can go to a wedding reception without getting weird looks about why I am still single and not married? Yes aunty, I know your daughter is so “laku” and so pretty… She got married so young and can have it all. WHATEVER. I miss the time when you can have a fight with your bestest friend in the morning and forget all about it during recess. I miss the time when I can cry my eyes out and have a tantrum in a middle of a shopping complex and people will just say, she is just a kid. (not that I ever did that!) I miss the time when I don’t have to worry about my ticking biological clock or whether I would ever meet Mr. Right. The only thing I worried about when I was small was whether I could get permission to sleep over at my best friend’s house. Sigh. What can I say….Life goes on right….As it should.

And I'll take with me the memories.. to be my sunshine after the rain... Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday....

Roger and out.

Jerk Magnet

Hear ye hear ye. The queen has descended from her throne. What gives? Something must have happened which is worth telling. Damn right!!! So here we go. I am telling my story. I've had this crush on a guy i met at a course. That was three years ago. He is handsome and very the control macho. But has the personality of a three year old boy. He knows i exist but it does not go beyond that. Yeah sure, once in a while he'd sms me (too cheap to call and he expects me to call him!!! ) yeah, i know, i know, warning bells should have sounded by then. But i was too blind or is it too deaf to hear the warning sound. ding ding ding. Current score : me 0 the jerk 1. Ooh sorry, legally speaking i cant refer to him as the jerk until i do this... the guy that i used to like shall hereinafter be referred to as "the jerk". Yup okay. Moving on...



I know that he knows that i like him and he knows that i know he knows that i like him. Confused? Alah senang citer we both know but we both pretend not to know. Anyway, recently, he was transferred near the place that i am working. He was previously working in a kingdom far far away... I was excited and could almost hear the wedding bells. here comes the bride..... he he he. Eh my life, my dreams okay. Little did i realise that the sound i heard was not the wedding bells but the warning alarm.... stupid me stupid me...



Anyway, he smsed me and asked me to look for a room near my place for him to rent. (tengok nak mintak tolong orang tapi sms je.....) And me being the nice person i am (masuk lif tekan sendiri) willingly obliged. Since i could not get a place on such a short notice, i offered my dad's place somewhere nearby and went through so much trouble just to accommodate him. I even cleaned the house for him something i dont even bother to do for my own house!!! Its true that people say love will make you do crazy things.



So after he has nicely settled in, i even offered that he stay at the house rent free. Yup free of charge. And after that he nicely dropped the bomb. Oh by the way, i dah ada gilfriend, we declared a long time ago.... OH MY GOD!!!! Current score : Me 0 jerk 2. To quote a friend.. WTF!!! Could things be any worse you ask. Well, since you asked... it could. I know the gilfriend and she comes to my office quite often. Well we work in the same department after all.. i was thinking, hey, if he has a girlfriend who works near my place, why the hell did he ask me to look for a place for him. That's what girlfriends are for right? I felt so used. Like kain buruk. Waaaaa.



I felt numb.... Couldnt believe that i could let it happen... Stupid me stupid me.... I should have listened to my good friend who told me that she has this bad vibes about this guy....But alas, i listened instead to my raging hormones. Not my fault okay....



Anyway, it dawned upon me that this guy is a jerk!!! Duhhhhh. A big huge jerk!!! Since this is only my second jerk experience, i suddenly thought of my friend who claimed that she was a jerk magnet. Past tense is used as she is now happily married to a decent man. For those of you out there who dont understand the meaning of the term jerk magnet let me englighten you on the history and brief background on how the term was coined. (chewah macam buat concept paper lak) The term "jerk magnet" was coined by my very dear friend, (you know who you are) when she kept getting into relationships with guys who look decent but turns out to be jerks. So she lamented that she is a jerk magnet. She is only capable of attracting jerks. It turned out to be so true that if you wanted to know whether a guy is a jerk or not, just bring him close to my friend and if she sticks to him. Yup, you got your answer. He is a jerk alright. Jgn marah ye dear, nanti kena jual. I saja usik you.



Now that she is happily married, i think the title of the jerk magnet must go to someone right? I guess i must have subconsciouslly said pick me pick me. And guess what, the winner is ... me. I recently called her (the friend who was recently known as the jerk magnet.. mcm nama prince lak) and asked her about her experience with jerks. I asked her how many jerks do i have to go through before i could finally meet "the one". I asked her, was it more than ten? She said yes. My heart just broke. I am only at number two. Two down and one dozen to go. She then said, looks like you'll live forever. Hah hah hah. Thanks dear... That really made me feel so much better.




So, did i learn anything from this experience... Well, i'll let you know later....Well i know one thing for sure... "somebody's gonna get hurt really bad..."



Roger and out.